Sassy, No Spoilers: Home Before Dark

book of the month selection, book reviews, fiction, scary

Abandoned haunted houses? Mysterious deaths? Creepy interior decorating? Yes, please.

Riley Sager is definitely one of the “buzziest” authors in the Book of the Month bubble. I’m most certainly the type of person that will read an author’s book just to see “what all the dang fuss is about,” and Sager has quickly tumbled into that category for me.

The thing I love most about Sager is that he clearly takes things he loves and puts his owns spin on it: Lock Every Door was a nod to Rosemary’s Baby/Ira Levin; Final Girls was perhaps a nod to 80s teen slasher flicks; and Home Before Dark is The Amityville Horror.

I’m here for this.

I, too, love writing my obsessions into my work, so it’s glaringly obvious to me when an author writes to something in which they clearly are passionate about. I think it goes without saying that you’d have to care a lot about famously haunted houses in order to write your fictional account of a family that survived a terrifyingly haunted house. Which is exactly what Home Before Dark is about. (Oddly enough, the title really has nothing to do with the book. I also argue this with Lock Every Door.)

Okay y’all. I’m a chicken. I don’t do “scary” very well–particularly the scary that involves:

  1. Vengeful ghosts
  2. Children (they are always the ones that see the shit first!)
  3. Possessions
  4. Haunted houses of any kind, really

So let it be known: I was nervous about this one. For good reason: Sager is really good at writing scenes filled with creepy suspense that keeps readers on their toes, throwing twists at you left and right, and wrapping things up with a bow (albeit, a bloody bow, but still).

The protagonist, Maggie (my sister’s name, but I doubt I could convince her to read this book, she’s as much of a chicken as I am), inherits the house she and her family fled decades ago, and which made her writer-father famous for his take on what happened in the house. Convinced her parents were full of crap (because ghosts are, like, totally not real, right?), Mags has to face the creepy house and uncover all the deep, dark secrets buried in those walls.

Some people have said this book isn’t scary at all. I disagree, perhaps because my imagination loves to run wild when the lights go out. I was essentially haunting myself with the visions of the ghosts in this book, and it gave me the creeps. Now that I’ve fully recovered (I recommend lights on for at least three nights with this one), I can move on to another Sager book.

If you’re a big chicken but love Riley Sager, this one might be your favorite. Be a chicken, but go forth. Be brave. And maybe read some David Sedaris before bedtime, to laugh those ghosts away.

I recommend this book for fans of:

  • Every haunted house book/movie ever made, particularly The Amityville Horror and The Conjuring*
  • Shirley Jackson in general
  • All those HGTV shows, because you really want to see a show about interior decorators taking on haunted houses (10/10 would watch this)
  • Antiques
  • Small towns

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

*Full disclosure: I went on a first date to this movie, got so scared I made us leave halfway through. Did not have another date with this guy ever again, can’t say I blame him.

Sassy, No Spoilers: Lock Every Door

book of the month selection, book reviews

Housesitting for a cursed replica of the Dakota? Creepy wallpaper? Yes, please.

Let’s talk about Satan’s spawn. No, I don’t mean Donald Trump (that’s a whole different review and would be way more bleak than this one).

I mean Rosemary’s Baby. If you read Ira Levin’s book (that one and Stepford Wives) and was obsessed with it like I was (I mean, it’s a thinly-veiled satire about women’s rights? Yes, thank you)—then you’ll appreciate the nod (and dedication on the first page) that Riley Sager gives to Levin in Lock Every Door.

The first thing you need to know about me is that I love creepy, abandoned, or weird buildings with a haunted history. On a real deep, “I will now annoy you with one million facts you did not want to know” level. Perhaps taking the number one spot (maybe in the world?) of creeptastic dwellings would be the infamous Dakota Apartments in New York City. The Dakota has inspired many a book (Rosemary’s Baby called it the Bramford, and a stunning memoir by Wendy Lawless, Chanel Bonfire dives into the life of growing up in the Dakota)—and Lock Every Door nods to the Dakota, but takes place in a near-replica down the street (the Bartholomew).

So, the quick and dirty: girl takes “too good to be true” job housesitting a vacant apartment in the prestigious building. She’s jobless, just found her boyfriend cheating on her, and has no family. This “housesitting” job promises to pay $12,000 for 3 months of living in luxury. Sounds like a dream, right? Well, let’s just say it becomes more like a nightmare. No spoilers.

This book is an especially fun read for people who wonder—what exactly happened here?—when they step inside a creepy old building. And:

  • People who like to research murders/cults/mysterious occurrences before traveling (I know I’m not the only one)
  • Current/former broke af house-sitters (guilty)
  • Fans of gargoyles
  • Lovers of wallpaper (again, guilty)

Rating: 4 out of 5.