Sassy, No Spoilers: Happy & You Know It

book of the month selection, book reviews, contemporary, fiction

Playgroups gone wrong? Wellness-obsessed influencer moms? Yes, please.

Confession time.

I manage two small libraries, and one of my duties is children’s programming–specifically, preschool storytime.

I do not particularly care for this duty. Pre-COVID, I performed two storytimes per week, which largely involved me reading picture books, singing songs horribly off-key, and doing many things called “freeze dances.” Sometimes shakers go into full effect. I have taken more than one giant Lego to the head.

Reader, let it be known. I prefer dogs and vacations over children; it’s purely a fault within my own DNA, I assure you. I’d rather wax poetic about adult books all day, but alas, this is not within the wheelhouse of my job.

But I sure do love complaining about it, reader. Which is why I was tickled when I discovered Happy & You Know It as a BOTM pick. I branched out from my usual dark fiction picks to indulge my inner Sex and the City lover (she is very real).

The protagonist has just been kicked out of her band, right before they blow up and become hugely famous. She needs a job, so she gets one as a playgroup musician for the New York City elite, where she meets women that have lives she can only dream about.

But of course, not all is as it seems. Some real scandalous shit goes down, y’all. The wellness-loving mamas are kind of a mess. And it’s so fun to watch the bizarre story unravel, all while not having to worry about ghosts and jump scares (yeah, I’ve been reading a lot of Riley Sager and Stephen King lately).

This one is quick, and may be a little confusing because it is told in third person from many perspectives (which I found a bit jarring, actually), so pay attention!

I recommend Happy & You Know It if you:

  • Like Sex and the City, especially around the time Miranda has her baby
  • Enjoyed The Nanny Diaries
  • Need a break from binge-reading all those thrillers and scary books, you wild babe, you
  • You have a job that forces you to perform for children, and enjoy seeing other people suffer this, too 😉

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Sassy, No Spoilers: Lock Every Door

book of the month selection, book reviews

Housesitting for a cursed replica of the Dakota? Creepy wallpaper? Yes, please.

Let’s talk about Satan’s spawn. No, I don’t mean Donald Trump (that’s a whole different review and would be way more bleak than this one).

I mean Rosemary’s Baby. If you read Ira Levin’s book (that one and Stepford Wives) and was obsessed with it like I was (I mean, it’s a thinly-veiled satire about women’s rights? Yes, thank you)—then you’ll appreciate the nod (and dedication on the first page) that Riley Sager gives to Levin in Lock Every Door.

The first thing you need to know about me is that I love creepy, abandoned, or weird buildings with a haunted history. On a real deep, “I will now annoy you with one million facts you did not want to know” level. Perhaps taking the number one spot (maybe in the world?) of creeptastic dwellings would be the infamous Dakota Apartments in New York City. The Dakota has inspired many a book (Rosemary’s Baby called it the Bramford, and a stunning memoir by Wendy Lawless, Chanel Bonfire dives into the life of growing up in the Dakota)—and Lock Every Door nods to the Dakota, but takes place in a near-replica down the street (the Bartholomew).

So, the quick and dirty: girl takes “too good to be true” job housesitting a vacant apartment in the prestigious building. She’s jobless, just found her boyfriend cheating on her, and has no family. This “housesitting” job promises to pay $12,000 for 3 months of living in luxury. Sounds like a dream, right? Well, let’s just say it becomes more like a nightmare. No spoilers.

This book is an especially fun read for people who wonder—what exactly happened here?—when they step inside a creepy old building. And:

  • People who like to research murders/cults/mysterious occurrences before traveling (I know I’m not the only one)
  • Current/former broke af house-sitters (guilty)
  • Fans of gargoyles
  • Lovers of wallpaper (again, guilty)

Rating: 4 out of 5.